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Jose is on FIRE

"bing-a-ling-a-sing" sung Sean's crouch accessory (It was justifiably happy and in a singing mood since it always played second fiddle to Sean's "AREA"). "Dean, I thought I was calling you.?." volleyed Sean. "Ah but then how would the post indeed begin?" laundry listed Dean with sage-like mystery, "I do believe that it is your crotch that must vibrate for such a miracle to occur..." concluded that one fucker who won't tell me what he knows about Mr. Greco. "Awwyeh, wait what miracle are we hatin' on here? Never mind, spare me your saucy details, I just want to have a night of good clean fun with my chums, no porn, no sexual images on any screen of any type, no violence, and least of all no male strippers layin' the law down. So just open Claire's door and let me the fuck in," Sean chimed in as he burst through the threshhold in to Claire's Causeway without invitation or forewarning or a prayer and shouted: "I'm getting ELECTROCUTED," in his most polite inside voice. "Sean?! Who invited you?" Claire back sassed as Sean infiltrated the fortress. "Aww-you-know, fuckin' this, fuckin' that," Sean reasoned as he nestled down near what was apparently the beginnings of a personal forest Cleric was growing in and around her fireplace. "I'll just hide in these bushes until further notice cuz I'm Sean," said *obvious*. And further notice he did, because JUST THEN Cam penetrated the conversation with a HUGE juxtaposition which he waved in all of our faces. "Yo fags got any soda..." trailed off Came while Sean fucked the pinball machine. "Not really Clarr said," Claire reasoned, "Why don't you guys like take Cam's car to Long's Drug and get some sodas, then go to Spencer's and actually get some sodas since Caper can be a little nitfucky about where he shops if it's too whorry and slumilicious*  *(see Desde 'Dollar Tree' Con Amor). They were all in agreeance and a plan had finally been spawned. With 'Came-And-Went' at the helm things progressed at ridiculous, unforeseeable speeds and when the trio arrived at Long's a few hours later, all of their wildest dreams came to fruition. "Check my belt coupler" splurted Sean, unable to hold it in any longer, "it's pure NES." "Fuck you Sean," I'm pretty sure Dean replied, "I don't want nothing to do with your Hot Topic Tom Foolery this night, we have some sodas to supposedly steal from this place..." So the three of them headed straight to the back of the store at a brisk, half gallop half sprint motion that wreaked of so much violation that just about every employee pointed and squirmed when the trio exited the building 21 seconds later after completing a round trip of the shop interior with nothing but bulgy pockets and vacant expressions. "I don't think our pincer maneuver in the middle of our sprint through the store made us look any less guilt-" but Sean was cut off in protest as Comrade burned rubber out of the parking lot, snapping Sean's neck back 62 degrees which disassociated Sean's spine from his skull as well as Sean's body from the sweet sweet nectar of life-he would never breath again. "Sean you alrite?" Dean snarled, "Yeah I'm fine" S-man replied without another word as 'those' sped on to Grand Ave, caught air on the median in the middle of the road, sailed over Applebee's or w/e and straight in to Spencer's Fresh Market via the roof. "Pardon me good sir," inquired high-society Camer to the first employee he laid eyes on, "My man servants and I are looking to requisition some sour pleasure treats of ample diameter, where the fuck are they?" "Right there," the man said without any sort of direction-indicative gesture. Then they got their shit and Dean seized his opportunity at the checkout stand: "So I guess this is the best possible time for me to mention that I have none of the green stuff," "What the fuck Dean!" Sean cajouled, "you think you can just roll with us and never put out the dough, you best get yoself some hoes before we hang again." "Uhh, what he said," C said as he paid for the shit and they all began disembarking maneuvers, "Yah seriously Dean, Sean and I are tired for paying for every fucking thing your feeble little heart desires. Sean had to get a fucking job just to try and keep up with your shit. I'd be flat broke if it wasn't for Sean picking up the tab every other time..." "Finally some recognition," S interjected in triumph as he threw the 2 liters in Cam's backseat and the caravan sped off at ricockulous speeds towards Claire's abode.
After snuggling up with his favorite champagne glass that he had never drank out of, Sean was ready to watch a little porn. Luckily his friends had rented the infamously whorey and arousing cinematic entitled "Look." Let me sum it up for you: Lesbians in the dressing room, some guy in a blue bonnet stalking little girls (who looked a lot like Clarr and Ann when they were young I assume), little Tony getting happy and, of course, Suzy Succubus and her little friend whoring themselves out left and right and up and down and up and down. It was obvious that J-man directed the movie or something because at one point when the bomb squad robot was on the bus, he said and I quote: "I'm getting ELECTROCUTED," and sure enough he was.

Driving is life's mini-game.

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BOB DOLE + XYLOPHONE = WIN

Well, what if...No, no wait - Ah, there I go. Sean finally fished the crotch vibrator 3-thousand out of the starboard pocket of his trousers and set straight to work. He didn't answer it. But still got the same information out of it: Starbucks=Now=Grand+/-Dean, Jessica, Cam<<< or something like that. So he moon roofed it into the Chariot of Intercourse and winged it over/Once arrived. He found Wee-Jessica waiting for him so that they could *punch* for Cameron and maybe Dean and that's exactly what happened until the Cameron revealed his secret hideout to be from WITHIN the establishment. He was on the INSIDE and they WEREN'T, you follow?. Cameron, Jessica and Sean than banded together to stand up against the monopolism that is: Starbucks, until reinforcements arrived in the form of Dean and the day was anew. "Hey guys," said Mr. Surfer, "I was just in the neighborhoo-WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!?" said Mr. Surprised Surfer as at least 2 of his fingers jutted in the direction of a local newspaper. Sean immediately pulled it out of the fire, in a pervasive sort of way, and gasped as he read the headline: "10 Kids apparently know something about the shark girl of SLO County." narrated Sean as he turned the paper away from his gorgeous face to all of the ugly ones=everyone offended...The front of the crack laden instrument was adorned with a picture of a young boy/girl who had obviously sharpened his/her teeth to give her/his an edge over their/there shark brethren. "I don't find that funny or humorous in the least," agreed Dean, "As he went to order his..." And when he had returned the shark girl was back in the fire. (then there was a 20 minute silence where everyone was silent and tapping their feet to music, which sounded oddly like...) "Bob Dole! That's it, this is obviously Bob Dole's smash hit on Xylophone entitled, F.T.W.!!!" "OH...OHO, HO." someone said interjectedly. Than Darren (the starbucks employee, who we all finally got to meet) came over and told us that we had 10 minutes to you know....G.T.F.O. as Claire calls it. So obviously and without hesitation, our four heroes didn't move a muscle. Than about 8 minutes past, D to the Arren fired up the crack machine that was like "BARTERER," obviously a red-flag for "Hey, I'm about to explode, bitches." and everyone bailed out immediately except for Darren who went down with the ship. Than it was like congregate outside wrecked buildings time and some were happy to oblige...but many Bob Dole's followed and soon Cameron was harnessing the power of the clouds via a sort of fhrust tucking method, causing the celestials to move abscessantly fast but the moon did nothing to stop them. Jessica was too high on pot to see any of it first hand though so everyone kinda like retold that whole thing to her but not really. Than Sean was like LETS GO SOMEWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? and Dean was like "!!!," "Jack In The Box," "Or: 'update the statistic' in The Box as some call it." and all three were like "HELLZ" -so they did.
Once there, someone yelled "ACTION!!!" and Dean, Dean w/ an S, Cameron, and Jessa lined up at the cash register in an unorderly, yet perfect line chanting "CURLY FRIES, CURLY FRIES, C-FRIES!!!" while providing gesticulations that consisted of all them's fists rising gently and falling in mid-air at chestal section height. As soon as Ivan (the helpful transvestite worker who resided there) instantly turned into Chuck Norris who reproduced A-sexually and basically cloned 4 more of himself/herself making 4 ready to 'Go to the SHOW' workers. They sprinted to the Curly Fry Fryer zones and were like "Curly Fries, Curly Fries, Curly Fries," in a chantive manner but to no avail, as they hurdled them at the 4 hungry customer heroes. Than in a surprise turn-around, 4 neo-nazi-communists came in and Chuck Norris promptly emprompted a round house to the head of each benefactor, the fury of which broke through the eastern wall of the establishment and carried through to the western wall and through it as well. So basically in a show dazzlingly fright, fucking Chuck Norris had broken thru one wall, smashed some heads 360-degree-wise and exited through the wall opposite to the one he had entered. "...boom, headshot..." said tom, but not before Bob Dole had entered and rapped the night away on his xylophone and exited from whence he had came. "Well Fuck," said Ivan or Cameron...(I get them mixed up a lot). Than something kinda happened...and like everything and everyone with it vanished...and-